Embarrassingly we have to admit that we hate monogram car names.
You know, cars with three letter monogram names.
Why embarrassingly?
Because we are guilty of the same monogram naming cliche. For instance…TFLcar.
Anyway, we thought it would be fun to come up with a list of the top ten good cars with lame names.
Why not great cars? Because a some of the cars on the list don't make it to the auspicious high of being called great.
So without any further wasted verbiage here's our Top Ten list of good cars with lame names.
At the end of the list please help us by picking your top three favorite cars with lame names.
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10) Cadillac SRX
So what does SRX really stand for?
"Super Rad Exiting" perhaps or how about
"Seaside Railroad Xing"
The fact is that it really doesn't stand for anything which is a shame because the SRX is very good, no make that a great American car with a lame monogram name."
Click HERE to watch a review of the SRX as we try to come up with a better name for the new caddy crossover.
9) Lincoln MKT
Perhaps following in the footsteps of Cadillac, Ford decided to also go with a monogram name for their newest luxury crossover.
Except Lincoln already has a bunch of MK cars so adding another one just made it all that more confusing. We loved the old Lincoln Mark V line of cars.
Why not stick with that tradition unless Ford was afraid to run out of Roman numerals or perhaps using the nomenclature of a dead language (Latin) was seen as being way to intellectually high brow?
Click HERE as we review the Lincoln MKT and come to gripes with the funky rear end styling.
8) Subaru WRX STI
So how do you out do a monogram car name? I know said a snarky marketing type at Subaru, let's give it two monograms. To his great surprise that's exactly what Subaru did when they named their halo car the WRX STI. OK, so we're guessing about this scenario, but you have to admit if one monogram is good…two must be better.
Recently Subaru has started calling the WRX STI just the STI, but join the club with the SRX and MKT boys doesn't make it any more original
Click HERE to watch an STI race against an Olympic triathlete.
7) Ford Taurus
Ah yes the old tried and true name of Taurus is back after Ford tried and failed with other more "inspired" names like the Ford 500.
But naming a car after after a huge fat bull can't be good…can it?
Click HERE to watch a comparison road test between the Taurus and the LaCrosse.
6) Mazda 3
There's nothing really wrong with the Mazda 3 except that a Mazda 3 will hold 5 people a Mazda 5 will hold 6 people and don't even get us started about the Mazda 2.
Click HERE as to watch a comparison between the MazdaSpeed3 and the VW GTI.
5) Nissan Cube
While the Lexus GS 450h may not sound like what it is the Nissan Cube (duh, why yes it is) might be a bit too literal of a name for car that's, well, a Cube.
While we would certainly be pleasantly surprised if manufactures actually named their cars for what they really are…like for instance had Yugo named their car the Tepid Terd instead of the Yugo GV.
Click HERE to read our review of the Cube.
4) Chevy Avalanche
While it might be a good idea to name a sports team after a natural disaster. You know "Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Colorado Avalanche are going to put the hurt on the Detroit Red Wings." We're not sure that it's such a great idea to name a truck after a unpredictable and deadly snow slide.
3) Any model that Acura currently builds
Ah yes do you remember the good old days at Acura when you could still buy a Legend. What car buyer would not want to drive a Legend or an Acura Vigor? When you bough a Vigor you knew, just by the name alone, that you were guaranteed to get laid.
But when you buy an MDX you might just have to make sure that you purchased the right car because perhaps you really wanted the MXT and got messed up by Acura's totally confusing current car name line-up.
Click HERE as to read a review the newest Acura TL.
2) Nissan Altima
The Nissan Ultima wouldn't be such a bad name for a car if it wasn't for the Nissan Versa and all of the other Japanese cars names that end with an "A".
At first it was cute when Japaneses car makers named their car after words that represented the ideal of the car. You know like "Integra" represented integrity and "Versa" represents versatility.
But after a while it just sort of sounds like a lazy bastardization of English. How about the "Crapa" or the "Junka" or the "Expensiva" or the "needsaservicalota" or the "soonatobearecalleda"
Click HERE as to read a review the Altima.
1) Volkswagen Touareg
Just because the Touareg are a Shaharan Berber nomadic pastoralist people that live in North Africa doesn't mean that you should name a car after them. After all there are no fewer than three names for the Touareg (also Twareg or Tuareg) people.
So it it certainly must come as no surprise to VW that not only can't most American spell Touareg..they can't even pronounce it.
Just saying V-dub…it might not be a great marketing strategy to name a good car after a tribe of people that hardly and American's know exist, or can say, or can pronounce correctly.
And that's why Volkswagen Touareg gets the number one position on the list of good cars with lame names.
Click HERE to watch a road test the upcoming 2011 Touareg in Florence.
Bonus Lame Name: Lexus GS 450h
Did you know that the Lexus GS 450h is the fastest hybrid production
car in the world. Be it Yes or No…you certainly couldn't tell by the
name.
Shouldn't this car be called the Nike Interceptor or something that
sounds fast and fun.
Honestly, GS 450h sounds like a form you have to fill out to get a
rectal examine at the local VA hospital.
"Yes I'm here to get my annual prostate exam," you say to the medical
clerk. "Great can you please fill out this GS 450h requisition form
while the doctor lubes up his finger" he replies?
Click HERE to watch how fast the Lexus 450h goes from 0
to 60 mph.
Now it's your turn.
Please pick the Top Three God cars with Lame Names below:
