“Ya’ know what Nathan? You’re not the first guy caught dry-humping a Jaguar.” – – A Cougar quoted in Morrison, Colorado July 2010
I love nearly every Jaguar built. Even the regrettable ‘X’ model was interesting to at least look at. New or old, they are some of the most sensual shapes on the road and they speak to the passionate side of many drivers. There is something about a Jag’s elegance and grace that most automakers have yet to duplicate.
The alabaster skin contrasts beautifully with the small, tasteful folding roof. At one point, I had to reach into the rear seating area to remove my camera bag. I’m tall and weigh about 250 lbs. Being bent over the back of a Jaguar, clinging to the rear fender-well (for balance) looks suspicious to some – especially when moving my weight back and forth trying to stretch my body far enough to get to my just out of reach bag.
It resembled a male bulldog having an amorous moment with a Pilot Whale.
So, when the 50-something year-old lady with über tight skin (pulled back so taut that speaking is a chore) flirted with me – I was not too surprised. Despite a smoker’s voice like Harvey Fierstein, she purred as she gazed inside the convertible’s tan cockpit. “Aren’t you a little young for a Jaguar?” she gurgled. “Not really, lots of guys my age like these cats.” I replied like a school boy showing off his Hot-Wheels collection. The day before, a grandma to one of the kids at my kid’s swim school was all over the car – later shocked at the driver’s (my) appearance.
It’s the car – old(er) chicks dig the car.
A few things you should know about the 2011 Jaguar XK Convertible:
- It has a 385 horsepower, 5.0 liter V8 that puts 380 lbs of torque to the road.
- It’s sexy and makes (some) women woozy.
- The soft top convertible can open in less than 19 seconds – it closes in less than 20 seconds.
- The engine note makes me woozy.
- Paddle shifters work well with the 6-speed auto and it ‘blips’ the engine beautifully.
- Bowers & Wilkins premium surround-sound system is awesome.
- The touch screen navigation system is so-so.
- There is no back seat – – okay, they SAY there is a back seat, but in reality it’s not a place to put anyone you like.
- 0 to 60 mph takes just 5.5 seconds when up near Denver, Colorado.
- The trunk has just enough room for a small golf bag – maybe. On second thought, use the back seats and hold 2 golf bags (with the top down) while using the tiny (8 cubic feet – top down) trunk for your over priced shoes and hats.
- It’s rated at 16 mpg city and 24 mpg highway – I averaged 14 mpg because I drive like an idiot.
- Be prepared to spend over $90,000 for one.
The overall driving character of the Jaguar XK Convertible was smooth, energetic and rewarding. This is a car that gives one of the best exhaust tunes I’ve yet experienced in a luxury car. Steering feel is mediocre, but the overall precision is quite good. I drove all over Colorado and never felt fatigued, even after spending over 3-hours fighting with traffic on the Boulder Turnpike.
I luxuriated in the feel and spectacle of the XK Convertible, it made me feel special. So, after I dismissed the Joan Rivers look alike, I shot my photos and finished the day with a stopover at a popular Mexican Restaurant in Morrison, Colorado.
When I was finished, I was surprised to see an older gentleman standing next to the white and tan Jaguar. He was talking to another gent as they visually ogled my ride. Undaunted, I sauntered up to the driver’s door, hoped in and pushed the “start” button. Once I dropped the top, I noticed both men looking rather confused.
You see, they were expecting a hip, successful and good-looking woman belonging to the Jaguar XK Convertible – what they got was a younger than expected male lummox. I decided to give them a bit of a show, so once the rotary dial transmission selector rose from its slumber, I put it in ‘S,’ clicked the paddle to 1st gear and stomped my right foot down.
It sounded and felt SO good to let the big kitty off its leash – that is until I looked in my rearview mirror. I kicked up so much smoke and debris that the two old(er) guys ran for cover. Oops.
Oh well – – at least I had fun!
On our TFLcar recommendation scale of:
– Buy it
– Lease it
– Rent it or
– Forget it
I’m giving it a…
Automotive media, racing, vehicle evaluation, wrecking yards, and car
sales are just a part of Nathan Adlen’s vehicular past. He writes out
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