No, no, no, no, NO! You can’t expect me to choose just three vehicle debuts from the 2014 Detroit Auto Show!
- The Fantasy: I want to drive the crap out of it – destroying every law, smoking a fat cigar, playing heavy metal while my hair excites in the open-top sunshine. Ha, ha… me with hair…
- The Seductress: I want to drive it with brio’ as it dances the forbidden Nathan dance of love.
- The Velvet Gauntlet: Driving this one might make me look more like Clooney and less like Uncle Fester.
- The Beef: Not only would this one enhance my manhood – it would enhance everybody’s hood.
- The Bill Bixby (Cir. 1978):… well, if I had the Benjamins – I would own it as it’s just what I was looking for… I think. It’s smart and beefy – just like me. Ha, ha, ha, ha, HA!
The five I mentioned are (in no order – in fact, you have to connect the right car to the proper description!): Toyota FT-1, Lexus RC F, Porsche Targa, GMC Canyon and the Corvette Z06.
Oh poop; Roman, Nicole and Andre will yell if I do five. I shall acquiesce. My need for five will sink to three.
It’s so naughty it begs for a spanking. With a 450+ horsepower, 5.0-liter V8 and a sexy body – the 2015 Lexus RC F is aggressive sexiness. Sharing parts with the LFA and it comes standard with an eight-speed Sports Direct Shift (SPDS) transmission. Sure, I wish it had a manual transmission option, but – after having positive experiences with the IS F – I can’t wait to play with it!
Hold on buckaroo – before you yell at your screen, hear me out. I have begged the North American friendly automakers for a small pickup truck with a small diesel ever since I set an Isuzu PU’p Diesel on fire in the 1980s. Small, frugal, maneuverable, efficient, turbocharged and torque-happy pickup trucks are sorely needed in the USA. Having one way up in Denver, Colorado is just a selfish desire – indeed. I am willing to bet that, after a few years in production, Americans will demand small diesels across the board. They just make sense. By the way, I think the 2015 GMC Canyon is quite handsome too.
You can read about the GMC Canyon on our TFLTruck site (click here).
The 2015 Porsche 911 Targa.
I don’t consider myself a “Porsche person” despite liking several of their vehicles. One of the reasons why is that I like an emotional kick to mix with my poor driving skills and most Porsches feel too German (read: exacting & passionless) for my taste. All that has changed with this painfully beautiful Porsche. It’s a German seductress that has a power folding hard-top that truly is a treat to watch.
It lookslike the old Porsche 911 Targas, but it’s not “retro.”
Starting at $101,600 – the Porsche 911 Targa gives you a choice of a 350 hp or a 400 hp flat-six, a maximum speed of 183 mph and even all-wheel drive. Everything I like about Porsche, I love in this model. Top up or down, it’s something special to behold. It even looks good in baby-blue and I bet it’s stunning in white on black!
Nathan ask: “Who do I talk to about selling vital organs?”
Watch all three of these vehicles make their Detroit debuts..
Auggggh! Nathan WANT Porsche 911 Targa! Nathan smash puny auto journalists that drive sexy Targa before Nathan! SMASH, Gerrrr, NATHAN WANT!!!